Sunday, January 10, 2010

Doh! It's 2010 already

Note: Did this for a newsletter thingy at work. Parts of it may be too geeky for non-IT folks. But the last line goes out to each and everyone of you who visit this page diligently to have this blog clock in an average rate of 2.5 hits per day. Yay for 2010! Here we go...

The following is not Breaking News: We are into the new year - 2010. We like to celebrate New Year - to most, it signals the start of something new and fresh; a chance to erase the old and ring in the new.

What we actually love to hate (or hate to love) most about new years are resolutions. We make them, we break them, we fake them. To each his own.What is interesting is the nature in which our resolutions for the new year adapt themselves to the calendar as the months roll by. By Dec-31 of the year, the resolution has miraculously morphed itself into something that bears no resemblance to its Jan-01 form. And that too only if it has survived to see Dec-31 - in most instances, the resolution is lucky to even see days beyond summer. Here are some common resolutions you may hear / have heard / may (not) hear few months down the line in the office corridors.

The Health Freak
In Jan: I am going to work out, lose weight and stay fit this year.
In May: I will stop donating 1/6th of my monthly salary to the gym by actually going this month onwards.
In Aug: Salad for lunch every Tuesday from this month.
In Dec: I am going to work out, lose weight and stay fit next year. Promise.

The Techie Geek
In Jan: I will master a new technology this year.
In May: New technology later, let me learn the current one and knock off a technical certification to show off on my resume
In Aug: Let me just target contributions to one online tech forum discussion based on my project learnings.
In Dec: Forget it yaar, I still need to make sense of what I worked on last year.

The Managerial Aspirant
In Jan: By the end of the year, I will be PMP certified and will be leading two large, happy teams
In May: Will book a 2011 date for PMP. Must hold on to one team of any size till end of year.
In Aug: Must learn to use the terms "leverage", "bandwidth" and "core competency" in at least three sentences daily.
In Dec: (changes topic when reminded of resolution)

The Over-ambitious Everything-er
In Jan: This year, I am going to quit smoking, eat non-veg only on weekends, appear for and ace CAT & GMAT, blah-blah .. .blah-blah…
In May: Yeah, yeah! Plan still on. Have not smoked in three hours, was force-fed beef by friends at party last night and tomorrow I am joining coaching classes for ...
In Aug: Er, yes. Sure. (mumble, mumble, grumble and groan) Lets talk tomorrow.
In Dec: (reminder about resolution elicits barrage of expletives)

The Avid Reader
In Jan: Three books a month in 2010. No fewer than three.
In May: I think I'll start with Dan Brown.
In Aug: Arre, this Chetan Bhagat writes ekdam fantastic books, yaar. So thought-provoking.
In Dec: Forget books, man. I've seen Three Idiots four times and I'm following Chetan Bhagat on Twitter also.

Like it or hate it, each one of us will find ourselves slotting into one of the four categories above this year. No? Then you are certain to slot into the last category – The Naysayers Public statement: “Bah, I do not believe in making New Year resolutions”. Real-world translation: “I’d rather sit back, relax and have myself a ‘happy’ new year. World be damned”.

Like I said before, to each his own. Happy New Year, all!


Pooja said...

Lol! :) Good one!
Let ur new yr resolution be to blog regularly...
u write well... u knw tht right! :)

The Neverknown said...

@pooja: no, i didn't know that. constant reassurance is most welcome ;)

Pooja B said...

sure! will reassure when I get to read more often! :) Keep Blogging... Happy New Year!

Kavita Rao said...

Bherry bherry nice... You inspire, seriously !! :-)
Have a great year ahead !

The Neverknown said...

a happy new year to you too (two?) ladies!

Gauri Lonkar said...

Jan - i will only take up a job with my choice of profile. Need to do something worthwhile post mba. Nothing else matters.

April - Yes location is important. Am a girl how can i take up travelling jobs yaar.

July- Anything for money. Greed is good.

Dec - damn just give me some job..

lolz.. hilarious post...keep writing

narendra shenoy said...

LOL! Enjoyed!

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