Wednesday, May 14, 2008

To Tee or Not to Tee

In an interview on Tuesday, US President George Bush claimed that he quit playing golf in 2003 out of respect for the soldiers (the ones he has sent across) who died in the Iraq conflict. For some reason, this piece of information was found to be newsworthy. I would agree to an extent - information of this quality would most certainly befit the comics section. Picture this somewhere between the Peanuts and Mandrake the Magician strips:
Tony Blair: George, why have you placed your golf ball on that cup of capuccino?
George Bush: You Britishermen might like to tee, but we Americans prefer coffee
Tony Blair: (slaps head and topples backwards)

Coming back to the news item, I suspect there's more to Bush's quitting golf than meets the eye. Something dark and clandestine - some truth as enigmatic as the one that he has managed to survive two Presidential terms. My suspicions arise from two statements in the article:

"The US president traced his decision to the August 19, 2003 bombing of UN headquarters in Baghdad..."
"Bush's last round of golf as president dates back to October 13, 2003, according to meticulous records kept by CBS news. "

What I perceive as the actual turn of events:
Aug 19, 2003: Bush golfs. Sucks at it. UN headquarters in Iraq is bombed.
Oct 13, 2003: Bush finally finishes the 18th hole after playing the same game for 56 days straight. Bush's scorecard reads 13,084,839,204 over par. His caddy collapses. Torn scorecard is found that evening in the garbage dump by local sweeper.
Oct 14, 2003: Caddy is laid to rest in solemn funeral. Cause of death: Severe exhaustion and over-exertion. Local sweeper is laid to rest in solemn funeral. Cause of death: Asphyxiation due to excessive laughing.
Apr 09, 2006: This blog is created. (Unrelated, but what you care?)
May 14, 2008: Interviewer asks Bush if he thinks the 'war on terror' is being fought the fair way. Bush replies intelligently that he is no longer familiar with the fairway since he quit playing golf in 2003 out of respect for dead soldiers in Iraq. I find reason to blog.

What? That could have happened.


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