Sunday, October 28, 2007

From 'The Fountainhead'

The following line from the book had the wind knocked out of me for a few moments:
A quest for self-respect is proof of its lack

Friday, October 19, 2007

the stuff Dreams are made of

There are dreams and there are nightmares. I'm talking dreams we get during REM sleep and not the dreams that run during boring lectures or when someone's giving you a lecture on your career. For me, a dream's a dream as long as i know it's a dream while i'm dreaming it (now, try repeating that last sentence quickly just for kicks). The stuff that freaks me out is the dream that ends before i realize that it was only a dream. Those kind of dreams are creepy. And i'm not talking nightmarish stuff - i hate those sweet dreams too if they happen without me realizing they're just dreams. Especially when the dream's about something/one i've been thinking about because then the dream tends to linger on through the day once i'm awake. And i'm just left lamenting - only if i wish i knew that this was just a dream while it was playing in my head. Sounds weird? Think of it this way... Something/one you think about a lot during your waking hours suddenly starts responding in the way you've been imagining all along... and then suddenly you wake up realizing that it was all a dream. Oww that hurts, doesn't it? But if you're aware of the unreality of the fact while you're dreaming it, you're psychologically calmer and you just treat it as a more visual rendition of what you've been imagining all through your waking day. Then, even after waking up, you're a lot more at peace because you're not left wanting it worse because the dream was just an extension of your open-eye imagination. If you were unaware of it being a dream, the waking hours post the dream become that much tougher because you just tend to stick to how real that dream felt and you begin to yearn for the something/one all that much more.
If the above crap classifies as complicated or senseless or plain stupid or this-guy-needs-a-GOOD-shrink, move on to these questions i have (yes, i offer you no respite) about dreams -
Q1. I see all dreams in the first-person. All my dreams are like FPS games. Do you ever dream in non-first-person? If yes, can i have some pointers to doing that?
Q2. Have you ever seen yourself in your dream? I've never seen myself in my dream thanks to the FPS-like setup (refer question above). Once, i actually tried to force a dream in which i tried to stand in front of a mirror so i could see myself. Came close to it but that never happened succcessfully. Pointers to seeing oneself in one's dreams will also be appreciated.
Overall, i still prefer dreams to an empty sleep. It's so damn boring otherwise to be lying for all those hours with nothing to watch.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

home on a weekday

back after AGES! a month and six days to be precise.
been a long day today. another long day in store tomorrow.
am in mumbai. not used to being home on a weekday. ride to mumbai was funky. the employers were kind enough to pamper me with a cab all the way home. inadvertently they took care of my entertainment by way of a quirky cab driver. interesting conversations.
time to turn in.
like i said, long day ahead
 

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