Friday, June 22, 2007

Who's the smart one now?

I came across, nay, researched my way to an article on Rediff which says that first-born kids are smarter than their siblings. Now, being a responsible first son, a role-model elder brother (now that scientists have endorsed this fact, I can safely shed whatever little modesty I had left within me, can't I?) and of course, a well-educated student of science (try not to laugh too hard else you'll miss the point I'm trying to make), I am of the opinion that we, and by 'we' I mean all of us including the lesser fortunate ones who weren't the first out of their mother's wombs, must heed these scholarly scientists who have spent much of their valued time on researching such vital topics despite the pressures of releasing information to the press so that such stunning results can change the way people live. I, for one, have now become a big fan of these scientists who came up with this ground-breaking theory relating intelligence to first-borns. I am also willing to worship the ground walked on by scientists who can research their asses off to publish articles with headlines "Heavy Alcohol Consumption Raises Human Intelligence Levels" or "Chicks who Date Fat Guys Live Longer and Look Prettier".

It is my newfound respect for such scholars that led me to taking my wallet out to pay to read this profound article in its entirety on the website where it is originally published. I duly paid with my credit card by inserting it into the cd-rom tray of my pc and waited for the transaction to be carried out, wondering with awe how much science and technology have matured. My eagerness was slightly nipped in the bud when even after waiting the next 15 minutes patiently, my transaction had not been carried out. After rechecking and re-positioning my credit card, I decided to make my wait a little more enjoyable by calling up my brother (note: "younger" brother) and checking up on him lest his lower levels of intelligence be taken undue advantage of by some shrewd first-born cheat. Now, let us not call this activity "rubbing it in" since such unsophisticated words are not befitting of a smart first-born like me. Coming back to the topic, my not-so-gifted brother made some bizzarre comment about how online payments are not made via credit cards inserted into computer hardware. I silently shook my head, brushing aside the temptation of belittling the ignorance of my arrogant little brother. Blame it on the order of birth, I sighed, it's not entirely his fault. The only explanation I can offer for his frequent class-topping academic record can be all his classmates being younger siblings in their homes. Alas!

With much pain in my heart, I withdrew the credit card and sent it back to its safe haven in that torn compartment (I prefer to call it the 'airy area' or the 'donation nation', the latter mostly in memory of those currency notes that've found their way out of there) of my wallet. In fact, I am quite sure the problem was with my credit card rather than with my payment technique as my smart-neck brother had opined. I must have hit the credit limit when that nice, pretty saleslady at the mall helped me in making that wise decision of purchasing that slightly expensive 8-foot pot made of what she said was fine bone china. She was so helpful, she even promised to help me buy an exquisite thin glass cabinet for the pot's protection when I had mentioned my fear of the pot toppling over from the stool that I planned to perch it on. I guess I will have to wait till next month to buy that cabinet now.

I am digressing now. Let me get back to the main topic which I faintly remember had something to do with my brother. Or was it about intelligence? Or both? Well, if it concerned both my brother and intelligence, then let me assure you he is just another student who's definitely not cut out for spying and other covert military operations. In fact, I've had scores of people refer to me as the smart one in the family. And they've even made compliments like these seem so much warmer by passing glances at one another, perhaps to confirm the fact, with wide grins on their faces. All those people can't be wrong, can they?


Jinesh said...

Really funny that...laughing roomies must be wondering wats wrong wid me.

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